I'm moved to share tonight this feeling of silence I have. It's a stillness in the face of my dear friend's grief. Many of you who are connected to her know who I'm speaking of. She's a wonderful mother and friend, and a joyful spirit in our stitching circle. It's just heartbreaking and immobilizing to sense her pain even as its waves crest at this distance. I'm feeling numb, and nearly stunned with sadness for her and her family. That little family was so happily expecting what was partially taken from them, and what can't be explained to them.
When such devastatingly shattering things happen to us and the ones we love, it's nearly beyond absorbing. I recently told my precious daughter when she had a heartbreaking disappointment, that we just can't survive if we "stare into the hot sun too long." I meant that if we only look directly at the heartbreak, it will destroy us. And, that's no comfort when we go through a horrendous loss such as each of us at one time or another may have experienced....and which our special friend is now walking through. It was our friend who sent several messages of comfort to my DD during that time. That's her generosity of spirit and thoughtfulness.
So many of you comment that you don't have words to say. Actually, you do. You can share them through cards and notes. I just want to encourage you on her behalf (and having been there in a similar situation myself once...) that your words do matter. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, and not for months...but someday when she can pick them up....they will matter. Words that simply say you care are best.
I'm a Christian, as many of you know, so at times like this I turn to my faith. God is the only one who can really comfort me. I see Him as a gentle Shepherd sitting on a rock near a quiet stream...a green and lush area shaded with trees. I visualize myself coming to Him and putting my head in his lap and He comforts me. He rubs my hair and soothes my heart. I can feel His unconditional love for me. He never tells me why things happen, only that, "All things happen for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." There have been some earth-shattering times in my life when I could absolutely not see how they could be for good! I know that I'm weak, and that I can't begin to understand the things He knows that are good. I just know He loves me and I can always count on that, and that He loves my loved ones, not as much as I do, but even more than I do. This is the only true comfort I've found in the world. And, it's the only truth I can share.
I just had to write this tonight, because it's so sad to feel your friend's pain and not be able to sit with her, or touch her hand and give her comfort. I hope tonight she is resting in comfort. I hope her children are giving her moments of joy. And, I hope her DH continues to lift her burdens and to let her know how precious she is to so many. I pray that God will give her "a garment of praise for the ashes of mourning," as He has promised when she looks to Him.