Monday, August 13, 2007

When Hearts are Broken

I'm moved to share tonight this feeling of silence I have. It's a stillness in the face of my dear friend's grief. Many of you who are connected to her know who I'm speaking of. She's a wonderful mother and friend, and a joyful spirit in our stitching circle. It's just heartbreaking and immobilizing to sense her pain even as its waves crest at this distance. I'm feeling numb, and nearly stunned with sadness for her and her family. That little family was so happily expecting what was partially taken from them, and what can't be explained to them.

When such devastatingly shattering things happen to us and the ones we love, it's nearly beyond absorbing. I recently told my precious daughter when she had a heartbreaking disappointment, that we just can't survive if we "stare into the hot sun too long." I meant that if we only look directly at the heartbreak, it will destroy us. And, that's no comfort when we go through a horrendous loss such as each of us at one time or another may have experienced....and which our special friend is now walking through. It was our friend who sent several messages of comfort to my DD during that time. That's her generosity of spirit and thoughtfulness.

So many of you comment that you don't have words to say. Actually, you do. You can share them through cards and notes. I just want to encourage you on her behalf (and having been there in a similar situation myself once...) that your words do matter. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, and not for months...but someday when she can pick them up....they will matter. Words that simply say you care are best.

I'm a Christian, as many of you know, so at times like this I turn to my faith. God is the only one who can really comfort me. I see Him as a gentle Shepherd sitting on a rock near a quiet stream...a green and lush area shaded with trees. I visualize myself coming to Him and putting my head in his lap and He comforts me. He rubs my hair and soothes my heart. I can feel His unconditional love for me. He never tells me why things happen, only that, "All things happen for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." There have been some earth-shattering times in my life when I could absolutely not see how they could be for good! I know that I'm weak, and that I can't begin to understand the things He knows that are good. I just know He loves me and I can always count on that, and that He loves my loved ones, not as much as I do, but even more than I do. This is the only true comfort I've found in the world. And, it's the only truth I can share.

I just had to write this tonight, because it's so sad to feel your friend's pain and not be able to sit with her, or touch her hand and give her comfort. I hope tonight she is resting in comfort. I hope her children are giving her moments of joy. And, I hope her DH continues to lift her burdens and to let her know how precious she is to so many. I pray that God will give her "a garment of praise for the ashes of mourning," as He has promised when she looks to Him.



Nicki said...

{{{hugs}}} Deb. I know who you are talking about and I feel the same.

tintocktap said...

Well said, Deb.

Myrna said...

Hi Deb,

I found your blog thru a link at Carol's, and have been reading your entries.

I hope it's okay that I put your blog in my favorites.

Our faith will keep us strong...

Vonna said...

What a beautifully written post Deb. I'm Christian too and I believe that there is a reason for all things. I sent a card directly to this person upon reading her post. Because although I know words are inadequate to express the pain and crushing disappointment that she and her family feels right now, I'm hopeful in some far-off day she will know we all thought of her and held her in our hearts.
What a caring, sensitive friend you are. Thank you for writing this!
hugs to you!

Miokka said...

Lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone, the flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing birds is come.
Song of Solomon 2:10-13
This always gives me comfort and strength.
Your post was very moving and emoitional. What a caringt friend you are. I could never have found those words. Please share my concern and sympathy.

Michele said...

What a truly heartfelt post and yes you are right, words do mean a lot during a time like this .. thank you for reminding me of their importance.

I found your blog from Carol's .. I'll be back .. I enjoyed it very much :)

Isabelle said...